How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
