She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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