Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize