So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize