Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
