We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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