I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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