she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
