The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
