16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
