I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
