no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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