He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
