All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
