I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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