I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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