Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
