Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
