Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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