idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
