next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
