Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
