Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
