worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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