Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
