If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
