Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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