well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
