Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
