I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
3 2 1 whiskey
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
