bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
