she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
