i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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