I can tuck mytits in my pants
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
