Plan B is the new Plan A
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
