She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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