My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
