so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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