mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
The feeling are messing with the penis
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
