just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize