dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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