Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
