She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He better not be in your backpack
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
