What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
