Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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