I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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