Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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