Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
