he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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