Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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