i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize