I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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