This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
