shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
