my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
