She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
