This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We need to feng shui this bitch.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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