I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
