i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
