apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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