Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
