he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
