I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
