TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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