I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize