"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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