but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He shit in the fireplace
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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